Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Broken

I mentioned before that I had felt like GF had broken my heart and stepped on my spirit.  It is a constant.  I am trying to be a better person.  I am trying to not let things get to me.  I am trying to keep myself on the high road.  I will get these random messages that seem to be from a true friend.  I am tempted to just ignore them and go on, but I end up replying and time and again I feel like my spirit is crushed a little more.  She says she loves me, loves my family, considers herself my friend.  Her actions do not show that.  I thought maybe it was just me, but people are starting to ask me what is going on.  It is noticed by others that she has nothing much to do with me anymore.  It's not just me - is it?????

BIL#1 came for a visit this past weekend.  It was all good for a couple of days, then all hell broke loose! He managed to insult and disrespect every person that still had the misfortune of being in the house at that moment.  He left the next day with out speaking to anybody, but still called my MIL and continued to berate her and tell her how horrible she was.  He said some horrible things to DH and I to the point that I took DD and left.  Of course, she still managed to hear a few things he said and has asked a lot of questions.  It will be a while before I can forgive him.  I just cannot ever imagine speaking to my family that way.  Or anybody!! 

I was feeling very low a couple of days ago.  My sweet DD had some very profound words for me.  It brought me to my knees and has put things in a new perspective.  I am trying.  Sometimes you have to be put down and broken to the point where there is no where left to go.  I feel like that is where I am.  It is time to move up and move on. 

1 comment:

Carolyne said...

I'm sorry that those around you have not been treating you and your family with the respect you deserve. It is hard for us to see how things can become more positive again when we are so beat down. I agree with your last comment though.
Sending a virtual hug from across the pond xx