No Title

I would apologize for not posting, but since nobody is reading this but me, that I guess it is all good.

My last post was about GF, and I guess this post will in some ways also be about her. She needs something from me again before we go on this trip so she has been calling again. But she never asks how I am, or how DH is or how DD is or how life in general is. I find out things about her through the grapevine, so I thought she might have already known some things, but I just talked to her and mentioned something about when I was sick a few weeks ago and she had no clue what I was talking about. Now, in all fairness, I have not called her to ask about her life. But, when I was trying to call and talk, she would talk about herself, her life, her kids and then would have to rush off the phone. Or if I had to leave a message, she just wouldn't call back. I will admit, that I gave up. I saw her today, I am supposed to see her tomorrow (if I don't cancel on her, and I am so tempted to do so) and then we have the trip. We were supposed to be together for 4 days, but she is only going for a couple of days now. (and she is the one that talked me into this trip months ago......Aaaagggghhhh). I guess I will wait and see what next week holds, but I am guessing that after this trip, I won't hear from her again for a long time.

In other news...CLOMID. I am in my 2ww, actually I only have one week left of it. I am moody. I am prone to crying. I am prone to yelling. I am having issues with NOT being pregnant. I don't know if I have mentioned it or not, but I have had a previous miscarriage and I am having a hard time with having to be on the Clomid instead of learning what sex my baby is and feeling those sweet little kicks now and again. I thought I was done with the stuff and it was a really hard decision to take it again. I am also starting to gain some weight with it. I had been on for so long before that I think I had forgotten (or just gotten used to) how it made me feel and what all it did to my body. If the Lord doesn't bless us this month, I am thinking I may take a month off and give my body (and my mind) a break. But on the other hand, 40 is knocking at my door and I don't want to miss an opportunity.

Guess that is all for now. I will try to be better about posting this week, but with the trip, I know I won't be around for a few days. I am hoping that this trip and the chaos surrounding my friendship with GF will keep my mind occupied and before I know it, it will be a week from now and I will get a BFP pregnancy test.