I want to be a positive person. I want the people around me to be positive. As I was thinking about this over the weekend, it hit me that some people in my life come across as being positive but end up having a negative impact on me. Their actions affect me in a negative way. I came to that realization when dealing with SIL#3 over the weekend. She was in a good mood. She was pleasant to be around. She didn't do anything. But that was the problem. She didn't do anything!!! She just sat and let everyone else do it. And it got to me (like it usually does). I bitched and moaned about it every chance I got. Until I got the "slap" on the head (so to speak). Why do I let myself get upset over it. She has always been like that. It's not going to change. What can change is how I react to it. I can stay positive................okay, I can try!
In thinking about all of that yesterday, it also struck me how much of my life over the last few years is very much based on positives and negatives. I mean everything.........right down to us TTC. My life at times is measured by those little +/- signs on a stick! Seriously!!!! How sad is that! I know there have been times when that is all I think about. When I can't focus on anything but the possibility of seeing a positive sign on a test. I am in my forties now. I'm afraid I have missed out on so much by letting the negatives around me lead my life. I need to focus on the positives. I have a hardworking DH that while may not be home much, loves me no matter what. I have a beautiful DD that I absolutely adore. I have a job. I have a house.
This past weekend was incredible. We spent it together as a family. Since DH hadn't been home, I asked him to please give us the three days. He worked incredibly late a couple of days last week in order to be able to be home with us this weekend. It was worth it. We had so much fun (well, except for having to deal with SIL#3). The weather was perfect and we spent time with friends, family and just on our own. It was so awesome that DD cried today when DH had to leave to go to work. Broke our hearts. But the positive in that was we are good together as a little family of three!! While it was sad to see her so broken and it tugged at our hearts, it made us both smile to know that her tears came from love.
See, I can be positive ;-)