I received a phone call today from DH telling me that a friend of ours is pregnant. I was speechless.
She got married about 7 years ago to a man that was about 15 years older than her. He had been divorced twice and had two kids, both of whom wanted nothing to do with him. She didn't get pregnant right away, so they began fertility treatments and they worked very quickly. She had a beautiful little girl. When their DD was about 2 they started having marital problems, he had started drinking again (apparently he is an alcoholic) and became violent. She left him and moved home and finally last year (their daughter is almost 6 now) she divorced him. Due to all the trauma and drama, her DD has had a lot of emotional issues (completely understandable). They don't even know where her ex-husband is at this point - either in jail or homeless. I asked her once (while they were still married, before I knew about all of the problems) if she would ever have another baby. She told them that she would never put herself and her body through all of that again due to all the problems she had not only getting pregnant but while she was pregnant (mind you, she got pregnant after her first round of Clomid).
She has dated a little and had recently told us about some guy she had met on the internet. The next thing I know is she is telling my DH that she is now about 7 weeks pregnant. Apparently, when they finally met IRL they hit it off and got a little busy.
It just amazes me that for someone that has been through what she has and has a child to take care of could be so irresponsible. It also amazes me that for someone that never wanted to get pregnant again would be so irresponsible. And I will admit to some jealousy I guess. I just cannot believe that she is having a baby and I am not. She lives with her parents, she has a job that doesn't pay the bills, she has an abusive ex-husband that doesn't pay child-support and has been known to just show up and go a little crazy. I am married, we own our home, we both have decent jobs. I am back to asking why. Why would God allow her to have another child, but I cannot. I know he has a plan - I just really would like to know what it is. I hate feeling this way. I hate it. I want to be happy for her, but I am having a hard time. DH says I should call her, but I just can't. I don't even know what I would say. I can't say "Congratulations!! I am sooo happy for you!." Because I am not happy for her. Isn't that awful!
Apparently I had some words after all. :-( When all is said and done, I do hope for the best for her, she still has a young child at home and now another on the way.
1 comment:
Take care of yourself and don't worry about congratulating someone else for something you don't feel too happy about anyway. My IF Shrink told me today that I have to become more selfish about this experience I'm going through. I'm simply too busy to spend time on stuff like that.
Put yourself first, I say.
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