melancholy monday

I am blah! I have been that way for a few days now. I don't want to do anything, I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want to curl up on my couch and be by myself. The only thing that would be okay is if my DD would want to curl up with me. (but I know that it would only last for a few minutes.) I remember feeling some of this before I was pregnant with DD and I was taking the clomid. I started taking it again last month and I remember why I didn't really want to take it to begin with. I feel like there are times I could just bust into tears for no reason. Other times I go from feeling okay to being incredibly angry and mad in no time flat and just really want to tear someones head off. And then there are times like this...........just blah!

I really think if I could just get life around me organized and neat, it would help me to feel better. I have completely lost control of my house and DH just walks over it....literally. If something is on the floor, he will not stop for two seconds and pick it up. So then I run around trying to get all the 'new' messes picked up and I just get mad because he didn't. And as for a dining room table...........I think I used to have one of those, but it is now forever buried under a mountain of .....stuff! I don't even know where to start...............so I just don't. But then I think about possibly having another baby, and I know I can't bring another child into all the chaos that I call home and then I start to wonder if that is one of the reason's that God took my baby and hasn't given me another one. See, it really isn't good to get all melancholy.

Toodles!