Only 6 days in

It is only January 6th, but already I feel like January has gone on forever!! I have been so stinkin' busy that surely everything that has gone on can't have happened in only 6 days. January is turning out to be even busier than December was. How on earth is that possible??? Isn't January when you are supposed to wind down from the hectic hub-bub of the holidays? Guess not!!!

Well, we are six days into the new year, and I still have not talked to the parents. I sent them pictures from when they were here, and I got an e-mail from mom thanking me. Still haven't talked to Gf either. And I am no longer stressing over it. It is what it is and I think that is all it will ever be. We are going to be at a couple of the same functions this month, but by that point, it will have been over two months since we have seen each other. I even still have Christmas gifts for her kids at home. Can't get them to her because she will never call me back.

Another interesting note about myself....I am not stressing this month during my 2ww. I usually am already counting out the days and wondering if each little symptom I may be experiencing means I'm pregnant. I guess I just am not really expecting it even though it seems to have worked out better this month.

Today is January 6th. It is 2 weeks and 1 day until my EDD for my sweet angel. I really struggled during the holidays with this, but I have been praying so much lately and I am beginning to feel some peace. I have been dreading January for months now. I also thought I would be pregnant again by now. But for the last couple of days, I have been doing okay. Not great. But okay. I still look down and think I should be looking at an incredibly large belly. And in a flash I get really mad and really angry - and then I get sad and I am okay. Sadness I can handle, but the anger was really getting to me. I don't want to be angry at God. I know he can handle it, but I also know that it just hurts!!! I want my baby back!!! There I said it!!! It almost makes me cry....okay I am crying...but that's okay. I am okay!!! I better go now before I am not okay!